Hamming it up
More proof that crime doesn’t pay

Crime doesn’t pay, especially when you brag about it.

An Indiana lawyer found that out the hard way some 30 years after the fact.

According to a story in the March 4, 1903 edition of The Richmond Climax, a traveling salesman visited the city for the first time since he was a Confederate captain at the 1862 Battle of Richmond (Ky.).

The salesman, who was in a Tennessee regiment under Gen. Kirby Smith, said that during the army’s trip over the mountains they had lived for a week or more on green corn and whatever else they could find. When they reached Madison County, they were overjoyed at the prospect of getting something substantial to eat.

The hard day’s fight on Aug. 30 began at Big Hill and finally, in the afternoon, they reached the city. The troops of Union Gen. Mahlon Manson were defeated and about 3,000 of his men were captured.

The prisoners were corralled behind an iron fence in the courthouse yard and the Tennessee Captain was one of the officers detailed to guard them. In the melee, the Captain had “captured” a ham, the like of which he had not seen in some time. He gave the ham for safe keeping to one of his men who was guarding the front gate. But, an hour later when he called for it, he learned the ham had been stolen. The man had left it just inside the gate and a Yankee prisoner had appropriated it.

In 1894, the captain said, he was traveling in Washington State and, while in Olympia, he met a lawyer who had been in an Indiana regiment at the Battle of Richmond. They began exchanging experiences and the lawyer told the salesman he had stolen a ham from a southern officer just after the battle.

“And you ought to have seen his face when he found his ham was gone,” the lawyer related.

“You thieving rascal, hand over my ham!” the former captain shouted as the lawyer finished his story.

The salesman had no trouble proving he was the owner of the ham, so they repaired to the best hotel in the city where the gentleman from Indiana paid for the dinner.

Ironically, both enjoyed a ham dinner.